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| Dear selfish significant other,
I hate the fact that every time I go out. It bothers you. I hate the fact that throughout this whole entire time, you only cared about wherever I went when YOU weren't having fun. These times you get an attitude with me because I'm hanging around with friends. What do you want me to do? Have no friends at all? Will that make you happy again? I've stayed anti-social just to stay with you, and yet, you were never satisfied. I can't keep making these changes to make you happy. You want me to make these certain changes, but when I actually change, it doesn't benefits us at all. All you do is complain.
How the fuck am I suppose to keep up with all these selfish acts? I tell you I love you. I don't get shit from you. I check up on you, just to show you that I fucking care about you. And all I get from you, is a fucking attitude. Do you even love me at all? Do you even care about me? I go out two nights in a row, and you're fucking getting mad and shit. WHAT THE FUCK? What the fuck did I do to fucking deserve this? When you came back to me after that long time of not being together. I fuckin savored you. I treated you. I took care of you. I made you happy. I WAS happy that you were back. Now fucking look at this shit. You don't give a shit about me. I was just fuckin used this whole entire week. You weren't fucking happy to see me. All you wanted was this and that. Sex and some other shit. Well FUCK YOU! Don't fucking use me anymore.
I'm tired of all these lies! I'm tired of getting played around! Maybe I should just stay my distance. and I thought you loved me.
FUCK LOVE.
damn this one sided love.. | | |
| well, i'm going to write something really truthful. and i'm pretty sure that nobody on my list is going to read this because everyone is TOO occupied on myspace. Anyways, sooo it's been like 2 1/2 years that i've been with my girlfriend and it's been 2 1/2 years that i lost some of my closest friends. i still get so upset that i'm not close with them anymore and all of them are still best friends. Sad yeah? when i look at their Myspace, i'll always be like jealous when it comes to there pictures together. i always think about the old days, damn, those where the fucking great/fun days. i really miss it, especially the days that i would sneak out every night to kickit with a friend. i'll admit i fucking miss talkin to her but we became strangers. i still somewhat talk to 2 of them still but it would be once in a life time that i get to ever kick it with them. I know that it's my fault, i blame myself for losing a couple of awesome friends, i guess i got so into my girlfriend that i never wanted to leave her side. that was back then, now i'm just into my work. WORK WORK WORK, everyday and i'm finally goin back to school. but yeah, i wish i never lost them, shit we could of been the "HOMIEZ" still. all those times i had with them will never fade away in my mind. i still remember alot and i laugh by myself about it. i miss it and i miss them. 
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| im bored! and im at my school right now and i should be doing work because it is the first week of the semester, but i don't a schedule. hahaha it turns out that i can't have any of my business classes because they are all full, so now they are tryin to switch me out from business program. but i didn't like any of the other programs. it's NOT me!!! so i am stayin in Business, but the thing is that ALL of my classes HAS to be online! shoot, i ain't complainin...hahaha! i can work alot now and get more extra cash, so i can go shoppin...ZUMIEZ..HOLLA and im beginnin to LOVE Hot Topic now, but ummmm anywayz, it is goin to be really hard if you think about it. i have to discipline myself to do work and have to teach myself how to do it too...fuck!!! i have confidents, i just really have to settle myself and think about my future because shit, there is no way my ass is goin to stay at L&L...and IM NOT goin to OWN a fuckin L&L either...fuckin CHRiS...you bitch hahahaha love ya though...BITCH!!! so yeah, well i've been here at school since 9:23...im waitin for Bj to get off from her class...i think she might get off at 10:30 so i have about an hour left. damnit! but shit, it's hella lonely here, i usually have a teacher here that talks to me alot when im by myself waitin. He is so cool...but he died last Saturday when it was the school break! *RiP Mr.FisH* it was so sad and i think that some people don't know about it either yet. Mr. Fish was Bj's FAVORITE teacher too. when my representive was talkin to me, bj was with me too and he told us what happened...and right away i looked at bj and asked her if she was ok...because i knew that loved Fish too...and she was about to cry. omg...i wanted to cry too because he talked to me all the time when he sees me at the LRC...he knew that me and bj were together and just everytime bj is at class...he interrupts me ( i was just on myspace ) and right away he started talkin about random things...he is so funni...he told me alot of stuff that he has done in the past and in my head, i would say, should he be tellin me this because ummm...he is talkin to me about the best drugs that he tried...lol...he was great though...i miss him...now i have no one to talk too...i like my representive though, he is cool, but he leaves around 6pm and i get here at that time. but anyways, it's pretty sad, the last thin that i remember what he said to me and bj was..."go eat at the Kim Som Mongolian BBQ when you get your paycheck"...hahaha me and bj is goin to eat there pretty soon. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....so ok, im gettin emotional...so yeah...im still waitin for bj...lalalalalala i did absolutely nothing for the past 41/2 hours...i looked at stupid shit on google BECAUSE FUCKIN MYSPACE WON'T LET ME GO ON...and i cleaned out my backpack which was full of papers which i don't remember writin...notes, wtf!!!
well, tomorrow...me and bj are gonna go get my eyebrow pierced...and i think bj might get another tat. i've been waitin to get my eyebrow pierced for the longest time...i guess i've been way to busy to go to the palor...but TOMORROW imma go...hahaha omg Jane is SO goin to be mad at me. i've asked her so many times if it's ok and all she said is "NO" and "GO ASK MY DAD"...hahaha but imma cover it...if you guyz seen me lately, i have bangs that covers my left eye and my bangs has like blonde and purple and black...somethin like that. ever since i had my hair like that...hella people be starin at me...like imma fuckin freak...hahahaha but i get alot of complements though...one woman was like " OMG FUN HAIR " hahaha ok!!! i dunno, imma about to add green in there too...hehehehe...so yeah, my manager is goin to kick my ass. oh well, i don't care though, she can't hire me anyways, she fuckin needs my ass to help out...and she also needs me when they open another different restaurant. hahaha, i love piercing though...can't get enough...but after my eyebrow...imma get one more...it's goin to be on my ear...but like in the inside...i don't know how to explain where on the ear but i know it's a place where i know people are goin to be like..."holy shit, didn't that hurt" hehehe...and i want one more tat...or two...no one more...i did want one tat that goes down my spine, but it might look weird because i already have one on my lower back and one on my neck...hmmmm...so yeah, i was tellin bj what i wanted, and she said that would look cool. i don't know where to put it though. blaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
i have alot other things to say but im to lazy to type...but i am goin to write that i miss my friends...ahhhhh...i haven't seen any of you guyz in almost a month. boooo...it's just that im workin, bj is workin, im startin school, bj is already at school...and gYEAH!!! and oh yeah, sometimes we like to be alone...*WiNk* is you know what i mean...LOL...JOKELANG!!! so okay...im done...PEACE OUT!!!
AND OH YEAH...I HELLA MiSS CHRiSTiNE LEE!!! SHE IS MY EVIL TWiNZZZ AND MY BiTCH FOR LIFE!!! hehehehehehe LOVE YA STiLL CHRiSTiNE, EVEN IF I HAVEN"T SEEN YOU IN UMMM PROBABLY 2 YEARS!!!
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| Damn, i haven't seen Xanga in like hella days...everyone is freakin on MYSPACE...well im not goin complain because my ass goes on it all the time. Anyways, damn...im wondering if anyone of my friends are gonna read this shit!!! BLAH!!!
it's been different since my last blog...i live with my girlfriend Bj...i go to school? ITT? WHAT??? hehehe finally my ass goes...it's cool, i guess! AND yes ALOHA BiATcH, im still at L&L Hawaiian BBQ. i swear, imma be there forever, it's my life! I have two BABies!!!
This is my first...Hairy HUH?!?! she was born in November 12, 2004
And WiNK!!! Hairy HUH!!! She was born sometime in July 
Yup, two babies with my Baby Love and im happy!
IM BOred...i think imma read my old ass blog and reminise of good old times with my homies who i miss!!! *SiGH* hope they are all good and happy? | | |
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XiN PaRaSoN
D.O.B. 11/12/04
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